Centurion (In 500 Words or Less)

There will be spoilers! Only read the first half if you plan on seeing this movie!!!

I think a lot of people overlooked this movie and that is a wrong that I can hopefully help to right with this post. Let me be clear, I am not saying that this is a good movie, because it’s not. It feels like they just threw a bunch of stuff they saw in other movies into a bag, shook it up, and threw the pieces together in the order they fell out of the bag…

…I would not be the least bit surprised if that’s how the storyboard for this movie was created.

Etain (Olga Kurylenko)
Olga Kurylenko as Etain

The movie follows the journey of Centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender) as he and what is left of his legion flee from the barbarian Picts across Northern Britain. Etain (Olga Kurylenko), a Roman traitor and ally to the Pict, hunts the men throughout their journey with almost super natural tracking skills, and endurance across miles of hostile wilderness. As they travel the number of soldiers with Quintus starts to dwindle, and we begin to ask ourselves, “Will any of the soldiers make it home?”

Okay forreal spoilers now, of a movie ruining quality!!!

I think this movie tries to pull off some tricks that it is not quite ready for. It opens with a flashback of Quintus escaping capture from the Picts. We get to see this flashback multiple times throughout the movie and I’m not sure it does much for the plot.

It tries too hard to be the thinking man’s war/survival movie. The director seems to want to walk the line between deep philosophical introspection in one scene and in the next someone gets stabbed in the genitals. It’s a weird line to try and walk, and I don’t understand why they chose it.

Don’t even get me started on the narration. There is no need for this much narration. The story is not that complicated. The group with Etain is chasing the group with Quintus and that is almost the whole story.

Y’all ain’t reinventing the wheel!

But through all the flaws (there are many) I will say the brutality and brotherhood really tie this movie together. Taking it from a horrible mashup of clichés to a watchable romp of a movie. As long as you don’t take it too seriously you’ll have a lot of fun watching it!

Guys Night!

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Michael Fassbender as Centurion Quintus Dias

This is the type of movie you have on in the background of a guy’s night! It’s not so heavy on plot that you can’t do anything else. It will give you enough to talk about with the fellas while you watch it and if you look away to grab a beer and have a side conversation you’ll still be able to understand how you got to the end of the movie.

I’d give this movie a 4/10 (alone), 6/10 (with friends)! *Must be watched with good company*


Have you seen this movie? What did you think of it? What movie should I review next? Let me know in the comments below!

Also be sure to check out more movie reviews by clicking here!

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